So last week I had a "visitor".  I bathed after coming home from the gym in the evening, then came out from the bathroom to find a spider as big as my hand on the wall by my couch! Normally, the little cobwebby spiders don’t bother me; I figure they eat some of the mosquitoes. But I didn’t feel that this one and I could cohabitate happily. I stewed a bit about what to do… Shout for Paul to come and handle it or squash it? I figured I’d best be an adult about it and not shout for Paul, and I also remembered that I had bought some bug spray as part of my Holiday Kitchen Insect Eradication Programme (to be explained later). But first I wanted to take a picture for posterity and for the website. I got a couple blurry shots before the thing ran into the curtains. I cautiously tried to shake out the curtains but could never find it. I tried to spray at it, but panicked all night that the thing was going to come for revenge.

But from the measly picture I had, I tried to look on the internet to see what the spider was. I found plenty about American and Australian spiders, but not much on St. Lucia, especially when I wouldn’t know where to start with technical names. Then I stumbled upon the Smithsonian’s Entomology site. They had a database with tens of thousands of entries. Unfortunately you needed to search by genus and species names. ("Brown", "hairy" and "friggin’ huge" didn’t turn up anything). So I was stuck. But then I saw a link that went to the email of the Smithsonian Spider Database Master. I thought about it and consulted my personal, amateur, sibling entomologist, and he said just email the guy. I figured what the heck, the worst is the guy would ignore my email, but maybe it would be random enough that I’d get a reply. And it’s not like I was emailing to ask what some regular US garden spider was.

The experts at the Smithsonian researched furiously for about a week. Today I have heard the pronouncement: Sparassid male of the Heteropoda Venatoria variety. That has led me to this link. The picture is right on. The description seems pretty accurate also, and now I’m a little sad that I didn’t try harder with the cohabitation, as my dear Heteropoda Venatoria eats cockroaches!

The end of the spider story was this: The morning after our meeting, I tried again to shake out the curtains to no avail. Finally I said oh well and set about cleaning and picking up like normal. When I went to sweep by my bed, who was curled up there dead but my little friend. Sadly for him, he didn’t make it all the way to my bed to exact his revenge for the bug spray. Good for me, because now I don’t have to lie awake with visions of spiders crawling on my feet any more. I picked him up to take some better photos. Then I moved him in his spaghetti jar lid coffin from the kitchen to the porch so the ants wouldn’t come in. Then Cheeto threw him off the porch into the yard, where Razor ate him. An untimely end.

Over the holiday while I wasn’t at work, I set about a few home improvements. The first, as I mentioned, was the Kitchen Insect Eradication Programme. This involved an investment into a number of pesticides… highly toxic BOP spray, mosquito coils, and roach tablets. Next, I cleaned out all my drawers where the roaches have been living (and pooping). I put tablets into all the drawers and behind them, taking care that they were nowhere that Cheeto could get them (he likes to sleep in the lower cabinet; his "office"). However, I’ve been unable to find the magic ant stuff that attracts them, they take it back to their lair, then they all die. Must be a shortage on the island, just like with eggs (there have been no eggs since before Christmas). I can’t tell if the Programme is working yet. I’ve found a number of cockroaches on the counter and floor, so maybe now they’re scared out from the drawers (once they’re on the counter or floor, I can spray them.)

The second project was the Porch and Backyard Beautification Project. The main tenet of this was an intense lobbying campaign to get Paul to hang up the hammock I bought in Mexico in August. Unfortunately, he hasn’t done that, but I’ve resorted to plan B. I said, maybe I can goad him into what I want, not unlike the cockroaches, by invading his territory. So I hung the hammock up in the breadfruit tree in the backyard. I’d rather have it on the porch, as I don’t go into the backyard as much as I go on the porch. But I’m hoping he’ll worry about me messing up the breadfruit tree and hang the thing up once and for all. The second part of the Porch Beautification Project was to paint. In St. Lucia, everyone paints and redecorates for Christmas. Paul had done most of the house several months ago, but now re did the front gate, the banisters and all the trim. I did what is on my porch, and it looks nice. Then the bats pooped on it at night, while they were gorging themselves in the mango tree. Thirdly, my Babonneau Host Mom, Theresa, gave me several potted plants when I was there at Christmas, and I potted them into nicer pots and put them on the porch. They’re doing well so far. But it would be nice if I could gaze upon them from my hammock. Lastly, and for sustainability (PC won’t ever be able to say my projects weren’t sustainable), I’ve been making an effort to not dump my shoes, bags, laundry, brooms and beach things on the porch. That seems to be going well so far also.